How to Stop Playing Small: The Real Reason You Haven’t Reached Your Full Potential Yet
You Already Know You’re Meant for More. So Why Are You Holding Back?
I’ll be honest with you, I'm definitely not fully there yet but, I realized that a change was needed. For the longest time, I played small, made myself shrink, and convinced myself that I wasn’t ready yet or that I needed to wait for the right time to come. I watched so many opportunities slip through my fingers and it wasn't because I wasn’t capable, but because I convinced myself that I just wasn't ready yet or experienced enough. I always thought to myself “who am I to be doing something like this?” And if you’re reading this, I’m guessing you’ve felt the same way. If you're tired of staying in the background while other people live the life you want, keep reading. Because this is your wake-up call.
The truth is, most women are conditioned to hold back especially if we feel underqualified. We downplay our talents and hesitate to speak up while second-guessing our worth. Maybe it’s fear of failure and if we really think about it that can be terrifying because if anything goes wrong you will be responsible and let’s be real. That can be embarrassing and frustrating.
But I can tell you this, there is no successful person who has never failed before, in fact did you know that in the 1920’s Walt Disney was fired from his job at a newspaper because he “lacked imagination” could you imagine that? Walt Disney, who has created so many iconic characters and movies, was told he lacked imagination. He didn't let this stop him from pursuing his dream, he picked himself up and kept going. His first animation studio failed but again this did not stop him, he kept going. Now, Disney is a billion dollar company that has expanded beyond just animation! If Walt Disney had given up, the magic of Disney would have never come to life. Think about it.
For some women fear of failure may not be their problem but rather, fear of success. Yes it sounds strange but it is definitely a real thing.Deep down, many women are afraid of what will happen if they actually get everything they want.
What if success changes me?
What if people start expecting more from me?
What if my relationships suffer?
Success means visibility, responsibility, and sometimes, standing alone. It’s easier to stay small than to risk judgment, envy, or pressure. You don’t want to make people feel uncomfortable because of your success, especially close friends and family and I get it but the more you make yourself small so others feel comfortable. The more you sabotage your dreams and neglect the life you really want to live.
Self-Sabotage: The Silent Dream Killer
We need to stop doubting ourselves, if there is a passion burning inside you, it’s there for a reason. Those thoughts of self doubt are only sabotaging your progress. Self-sabotage shows up in sneaky ways and It’s not always obvious. Things like turning down a big opportunity or quitting right before you succeed are ways you may be keeping yourself stuck. Sometimes, it looks like procrastinating on tasks that could actually move your life forward by waiting for the “perfect moment”.Or it can be downplaying your skills in a meeting so you don’t intimidate others even when you know you’re the most qualified person for that task. It can also be surrounding yourself with people who don’t challenge or inspire you. When you surround yourself with people who don’t challenge you! You don't grow because you become comfortable. It can also be refusing to invest in yourself, whether it’s a course, a mentor, or even just better habits. It’s constantly waiting until you’re “ready” instead of just starting.
Sound familiar? I know it does because I’ve been there too. But acknowledging that you are making yourself small is the first step to breaking free from it.
Stepping into your full potential isn’t about being arrogant or condescending . It’s about self-respect and turning that potential to be great into actually being great! A high-value woman is not just someone who looks polished on the outside. She is someone who carries herself with confidence, sets boundaries, and relentlessly pursues her goals. She does not wait for permission to improve. She creates her own opportunities and knows she is deserving of them.
Success is not about getting lucky, an opportunity is not going to fall out of the sky some day! You have to work for it and that doesnt mean to go searching for any opportunity you can get. It’s about investing in yourself daily. That can be something as simple as if you want a promotion at work, instead of thinking about how much you want that promotion. Take courses that will give you the qualifications and skills for someone who should be functioning in that role. If you want to start your business, begin planning and setting goals to help you start your business. If you want to stop spending your money recklessly, track every single cent you spend and figure out what you need to do differently!
Being a High Value Woman is about deciding that you are worthy of more and choosing to act on it every single day. When you start treating yourself like a woman who is meant to achieve greatness, you naturally start attracting opportunities that match that energy.If you’re ready to stop playing small, you don’t have to overhaul your entire life overnight.
Did you know that neuroplasticity allows your brain to rewire itself? It refers to the brain's ability to reorganize and form new neural connections in response to learning, experience, or injury. By shifting your mindset and embracing new ways of thinking, you can strengthen positive neural connections and break old patterns. This mental "rewiring" helps you build resilience, improve focus, and set yourself up for success. Your brain’s ability to adapt makes it possible to change how you think and achieve your goals.
Start with small shifts that help rewire your mind for success. First, speak life into yourself because your words shape your reality. Replace self-doubt with affirmations like, “I am capable of achieving anything I set my mind to,” and say them until you believe them. Then, set boundaries without guilt because you cannot pour from an empty cup. Stop saying yes to things that drain you and start protecting your time and energy.
Next, act before you feel ready because confidence is built through action. The more you do, the more capable you will feel. Then, invest in yourself, whether it’s education, self-care, or upgrading your surroundings because treating yourself like someone who is going places is the first step to getting there. Finally, surround yourself with winners because the people around you should inspire growth, not keep you stagnant.
These small shifts might seem simple, but over time, they add up to a massive transformation.
Tracking Your Progress
Changing your mindset doesn’t happen overnight, and sometimes, it can be hard to see your own progress. That’s why tracking your growth is essential. Start by keeping a daily journal where you reflect on what you did today that pushed you forward. Then, create an affirmation tracker to keep track of the affirmations you say and how they make you feel. Use a habit tracker to monitor the small habits that align with the woman you want to become. At the end of each month, take time for a monthly reflection and ask yourself, “What’s different about me this month? Where did I play small, and where did I step up?”
Having tangible proof of your growth will keep you motivated and remind you why you started.
I’m still in the process of becoming the highest version of myself, and that’s okay. The point isn’t to be perfect. It’s to be intentional. Playing small won’t serve you. You weren’t meant to blend in. You were meant to take up space, to be seen, and to step into everything you were created to be. So stop waiting. Start now.
Your future self is watching. Don’t let her down.